Early Beginnings, Trustworthy Foundations
A three year old at a park is hanging down from a monkey bar six feet high, her dad says “Jump!” with open arms to catch her! The child jumps without ever thinking “Is he going to catch me? Will I fall and get hurt? What if he drops me?” The Power of Trust the child has for her Dad is invaluable! And by all means the dad has shown his kid that he is trustworthy!
A four year old learns to write her first alphabet taught by her preschool teacher. She has no doubt in her mind that the teacher could be wrong! It is her trust in the teacher that drives the student to continue learning with confidence and reliability of her teacher’s lessons. The trustworthy foundation likewise making the student assured of her own progress.
“When you can trust someone, you learn to live,” says Goethe, the 18th century German poet, writer, playwright and accomplished literary figure.
A child begins life by learning to trust itself first, and slowly extends that trust to its parents, siblings and other family members. The ability to trust oneself, and others, is innately built into us.
Yet, trust has become a casualty…
In today’s fast-paced world, interconnected world, the parameters that previously defined trust are somewhat fuzzy.
Do you trust someone with millions of followers on Twitter? Are Facebook Likes on your friend’s profile a measure of trust? Are we to rely on these parameters to connect and relate to people? Do we trust our communities and governments to do right the things for us? What if we are newcomers, or our community is constantly shifting, surrounding us with unfamiliar faces? Martha Beck writes very eloquently about trust-o-meter, with a set of simple questions that help establish trust.
Let us turn that around. Do you think you are trustworthy? Have you gone through a trustworthy-ness test for yourself? What did you learn?
This may sound familiar. Has someone you know, requested you to watch their child, while they wanted to run an errand?
Chances, are after your mind has processed the scheduling and logistics part, you suddenly begin to raise your guard. “Can I be trusted to watch her child?” “What if something goes wrong?” Now you have sudden and unforeseen doubts about your own ability to be a trusted caregiver. Why is that?
Parents or responsible adults know they are trustworthy and can be relied on to take care of a child, for a friend or a family member in need. But in uncertain times, helping others comes with hesitation and fear.
Unseen barriers form
As an indirect consequence, we look inwards and tend to take up too much upon ourselves, making life harder on us than it needs to be. It adds up to the usual challenges like hectic work schedules, limited time, fickle economy, unstable governments and the seemingly benign, “what to cook for dinner?” issues. People become overburdened.
When people can’t overcome challenges, not only is their self-esteem diminished, but also their belief and trust in others.They may think people aren’t trustworthy or reliable. They might have no time to spare for helping others and believe that, likewise, the people around them are just as swamped with their own issues, so they hesitate to approach and seek help. “Why even bother?”
Time becomes crucial and the tendency to take care of your own self trumps everything else. This has a detrimental effect on our communities. With that mindset, the challenges they’ll face in the future will become even more arduous and they’ll become even less likely to seek help. It turns into a downward spiral and breaking out of it is hard.
So, with that in mind… how are we ever going to trust someone else to do the same for us when we need?
With the Seed of Reciprocity
As the saying goes: Be the change you want to see in the world!
All it takes is for someone with initiative to take the first step and do something nice for a loved one. Or the initiative to actually say, “I’m having a hard time, I could really use a hand.”
That is how the chain reaction of reciprocity begins.
However, it is incumbent upon those who are willing to go first to build trust, in others and in their own selves. Show a willingness to trust, even to those you do not trust. Try extending the benefit of the doubt when there is no reason to avoid doing so.
Think of the teacher and how she provided the bedrock of trust her pupils could draw from as they continue learning. Or the dad whose child took a leap of faith and jumped, he has been his child’s entire world, which is why the child can make that leap of faith. We can be like this to the people around us, just like how it was in the past!
Remember the stories of the Good Old Days when neighbors didn’t have to lock their front doors, when people could hitchhike or pick up travelers without worrying about what the stranger might do to them? We can bring that back!
All we need is trust, the seed of the culture of reciprocity that must be nurtured as part of your lifestyle so it can grow over time.
Are you a person who trust’s very easily? Click here to find out now!
Connecting the Dots
After having cultivated a culture of reciprocity within your inner trust circle, you are now ready to extend it outwards. This is empowering and inevitable. You grow from tribe to village, village to towns, towns to cities and cities to nations. The fabric of trust weaves the myriads of relationships that you form with others.
Social networks are a great way to leverage these circles. Whatever, you calling or purpose is, you quickly build a community around you with people to share your interests, passions, ideas and more. We’ve seen this happen for tweets, for cat pictures and hilarious .gifs.
So why not go beyond that and ask for favors objectively?
That is what Enfavr does. The platform’s uniquely design promotes sharing and reciprocity, for those who are spreading the pay forward lifestyle, augmenting the trust in our communities.
It connects those who could use Favrs and those who want to return Favrs, as well as those who are willing to give as well as receive, who can open up because they themselves know they would do the same for anyone else in the same spot. This mutual realization thus brings with it assurances and thus eases doubts – it makes people trustworthy. By reaching out in the name of altruism and with the act of acceptance, people who Enfavr can affect each other’s lives for the better and create a community out of the quintessential and humanistic drive to help.
This is the dream of Enfavr. All meant to change lives and make this new year and the years after a time of trust. Trust is what made this, and all things, possible. It is what allows people to take a leap of faith and make positive changes possible!
So let’s do this, let’s be all in favor – #AllEnfavr – for changing the world for the better by trusting, by helping and by being willing to be helped! Just like the father and the child at the beginning of this article, let’s be there for the people around us, ready to catch them when they jump… and let’s trust them to catch us when we have to let go of the monkey bars we’re gripping!